Aubree's First Tooth!

At nine months old on the 12th of February my sweet girl got her first tooth! She was cranky and had the worst runny nose ever a few days before it broke through. She is still drooling all the time but I think she is getting another tooth on the bottom next to the first one. We are so excited for her and can't believe she has reached this milestone! My baby is growing up so fast! She is pulling up and standing all the time, everywhere. I can't believe she will be one shortly and will be walking! Time has flown by and we are enjoying every moment with our princess.

To my sweet 9 month old Aubree Jane Mulcock

Nine months of pure joy, stress, love, smiles and laughter. You are the best Aubree Jane. I have finally come to realize that I do not necessarily want you to be a newborn again, it's just that I miss that magical feeling of being brand new parents... The "This little human is all mine? I get to take her home with me?!" feeling, and I know feelings like this can't go on forever because then they just wouldn't be so magical.. But don't get me wrong! I still can't believe you're mine, all mine, and daddy's too. Your sweet personality just continues to grow and we can't help but laugh at your toothless grin. I am not complaining, who wants you to grow up anyway. You are already getting around everywhere on your squishy hands and knees. Those dimples where your knuckles go make me giggle. You have been trying to pull up on anything and everything. I love the way you crawl to me and try to pull up on my leg. Hearing you say momma melts my heart every time since your favorite word is dada. Your hair is growing in and I love the way it gets a little wave when its wet or sweaty. Your love for your daddy is growing daily, you get so excited seeing him walk in the door when he gets home from work and you love when we call him on the phone. No one can make you laugh as hard as your dad can. We love you more than words can express. You are growing so fast and learning everyday. You love eating off our plates and we love seeing you try new things. My favorite time of day is the morning, daddy goes to get you out of our crib before he goes to work and he brings you into our bed. You get to love on him before coming to snuggle with me. You nurse and then go back to bed with me for awhile, I love snuggling you and singing to you when you wake up again. I can not believe you have been with us for nine months. I still remember the way you would stick your little booty out on one side when you were in my belly. Your little hiccups would make me laugh seeing my belly move. You bring sunshine into my life and you have made me the person I am meant to be. I love being your mommy and I love our family. Thank you for being such a loving, beautiful, sweet baby girl. I love you to the moon and back! 
xoxo
Love, Mommy

n i n e months - and a day spent in the ER

The day after Aubree turned 9 months old we had a scary, exhausting, long day at Banner Desert- Cardon's children's medical center. The night before she was running a fever so I gave her some children's ibuprofen and just thought maybe she was teething. She slept fine that night and we woke up early the next day to go shopping with the girls. She seemed to want to sleep in so I let her sleep until the last second before we left. I checked her temperature and it was normal so I did not give her any medicine before we left the house. I could tell as the morning went on that she just wasn't feeling well. In the middle of shopping I notice she felt really really warm so I got her out of her stroller and took off her little cardigan and gave her some ibuprofen. I didn't check her temperature at that point but I knew her fever was back. She looked dazed and leaned her head on my face. As she pulled away I look at her and saw her eyes fall back into her head, her lips turn a little blue and her whole body was shaking, I immediately turned to Michelle and asked "what is she doing?"  it didn't occur to me that something was seriously wrong. Michelle frantically said "she's having a seizure, call 911! " as she grabbed Aubree from me. I am pretty sure she had two separate seizures both lasting about 5 seconds. I just stood there with no emotion, not knowing what to to think or do. Someone called 911 and told me to undress her. Aubree didn't cry after the two seizures, but started to as I undressed her. I took her to the front of the store and someone handed me a wet paper towel to dab on her to cool her down. It only took the fire department 5 minutes to arrive. As soon as they did I started to gain my emotions and panic. Aubree screamed while two guys poked her and one guy asked me lots of questions. I started to cry and they told me because it was her first seizure we needed to take her to the hospital. Sarah called Ben and told him what happen. The firefighters told me that everything was going to be okay. I sat on the stretcher holding my daughter as they put us in the ambulance while Michelle rode up front. When we got to the hospital Ben met us there and the nurses asked us what happen and evaluated Aubree. Her temperature was around 102 so they gave her some Tylenol and we waited for the doctor. I then explained to the doctor what happen and she told me that it is common for a child to have a seizure when their temperature rising too quickly. The fever or seizure does not cause brain damage but they wanted to do some tests to see what was causing her fever. She cried every time one of the nurses walked in. It was so hard to watch them poke her and have to hold her down while she cried. After doing multiple tests and putting an IV in her tiny arm they left us alone for about two hours while we waited for results. I nursed Aubree to sleep and when she woke we all tried to keep her happy. Ben and I ate lunch from the cafeteria and we visited with friends and family. The doctor came back with good news. She told us Aubree tested negative for RSV and influenza and any other serious illness. She did say that her white blood cell count was high so they gave her some antibiotics through her IV. The doctor told me to make an appointment with her pediatrician on Monday and that was about it. We left not really knowing what caused her fever, we just knew that she was going to be okay, and I was so grateful for that knowledge. I continued to give Aubree Tylenol and ibuprofen on Sunday and we got an appointment with Dr. Gutherie on Monday. Her fever was gone by Monday but she now had a horrible diaper rash, she was still cranky and not herself. So at the appointment with Dr. Gutherie he told me that Aubree was pre programmed to have seizures if and when her temperature escalated very quickly. He said that only 4 percent of people were that way but just because she was did not mean that all of my children would be. He also said a percent of people go on to have epilepsy later in life.  Sadly there was nothing we could do if she was going to have the seizure. If we know she has a fever we can monitor it and keep it level by giving medication but because we did not know she had the fever there was nothing we could do. He also told us if this happens again we do not need to take her to the hospital if we monitor her and her fever goes down and she seems like herself again. He also said that she could of just gotten a fever from an infection in her stomach or the common flu. He gave us a list of some medication over the counter to get for her poor bottom and that was it. I wish so badly that I could take away her pain. It has been so hard to see her not feel good and know there is nothing else I can do. I have had multiple sleepless nights since her seizure and and have worried none stop if she is going to get another fever. One night when I couldn't sleep I found this poem that described my feelings perfectly.


Before I was a Mom,
I never tripped over toys
or forgot words to a lullaby.
I didn't worry whether or not
my plants were poisonous.
I never thought about immunizations. 

Before I was a Mom, 
I had never been puked on.
Pooped on.
Chewed on.
Peed on.
I had complete control of my mind
and my thoughts.
I slept all night. 

Before I was a Mom,
I never held down a screaming child
so doctors could do tests.
Or give shots.
I never looked into teary eyes and cried.
I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin.
I never sat up late hours at night
watching a baby sleep. 

Before I was a Mom,
I never held a sleeping baby just because
I didn't want to put her down.
I never felt my heart break into a million pieces
when I couldn't stop the hurt.
I never knew that something so small
could affect my life so much.
I never knew that I could love someone so much.
I never knew I would love being a Mom. 

Before I was a Mom,
I didn't know the feeling of
having my heart outside my body.
I didn't know how special it could feel
to feed a hungry baby.
I didn't know that bond
between a mother and her child.
I didn't know that something so small
could make me feel so important and happy. 

Before I was a Mom, 
I had never gotten up in the middle of the night
every 10 minutes to make sure all was okay.
I had never known the warmth,
the joy,
the love,
the heartache,
the wonderment
or the satisfaction of being a Mom.
I didn't know I was capable of feeling so much,
before I was a Mom


I am so grateful for my sweet baby girl and feel so blessed to have her here in my arms getting healthier and happier. These last nine months have been the greatest times of my life, and I can't wait to make more memories with her and her daddy.

 

      

- Eight Months - Christmas - New Years -

I haven’t been very good at updating this on time but I just want to go back just in case I missed anything. Aubree turned eight months in December. We celebrated Christmas at our house in the morning by waking Aubree up early and taking her into the living room to see her gifts from Santa and open her stocking. She was so sweet and such a cuddle bug when we woke her up and then seeing her face light up when she saw her bouncer was priceless. Then we let her open her stocking and she was so happy. It was the cutest thing! After getting ready for the morning we went to Ben’s parents to open presents there and then spent Christmas afternoon at his grandma’s house. Later we left for Safford to spend Christmas evening with my family. The next day we traveled to Holbrook to spend a few days with my grandma and aunts and uncles and cousins. We got lots of gifts and felt very blessed to be able to spend a little time with everyone this Christmas. We spent the new year at the sand dunes with Ben’s parents, brother, and some friends. It was a blast taking Aubree for the first time. Ben taught me how to ride a quad and took Aubree on a little ride around the toy hauler. I couldn’t tell who was having the most fun because they were both smiling from ear to ear. Our sweet baby girl is eight months and we just can’t believe how much she has grown this month. She has gone from sitting up like a champ to learning to crawl backwards for a few days to finally learning how to crawl forward. She now gets around faster then I’d like and keeps me on my toes. I can’t believe she is already learning how to pull up on everything and can stand up with help. Her personality has blossomed over the past month and I love learning more about her. She makes me laugh and loves to laugh with us, she gives the best kisses and can wave bye bye. I love hearing her say mama and adada. Her face lights up when we call Ben while he is at work. She loves playing with Stella and Stella loves giving her kisses. Food has become her main interest recently. She has begun eating off of our plates and still continues to breastfeed and eat baby good. Puffs are her new favorite snack, and she loves bananas in the morning. I fall more in love with her every day. I cannot believe she will be a year old in a few short months. This year has gone by faster than any year in my entire life. Aubree has made me the person I am today and I am so blessed to be her mommy. I am so grateful for my amazing husband and his willingness to provide for us. He is my very best friend. I love this life heavenly

Oh bittersweet December

December is always a bittersweet month for me. As yesterday was November 30th our sweet Aubree turned 7 months old and I tried to think about how she is such a happy healthy baby girl and how much I love and am thankful for her but in the back of my mind all day I thought about December. I thought about today and how much joy the holidays are suppose to bring. I put up our Christmas tree last night and Ben played some Christmas music this morning. Every year I try to get in the holiday spirit but at the beginning it is always hard for me. I can't help but think of the anniversary of Dylans death. I say this every year but I can't believe this year will be three years. It no longer feels like just yesterday for me. It feels like a lifetime ago but I can still remember every detail of that night. It plays like a movie over in my head. I still can't believe that happen to me and my family. I still can't believe my brother died in an accident almost three years ago. The pain in my heart has changed over the years but it is still there. I wish I could just visit with Dylan and watch him interact with Ben and Aubree.
I was able to go to Safford to be with my family on the anniversary of Dylans death. It was so nice being with them to remember our brother. As soon as I got into town I just started to cry and as soon as I pulled up to my house I ran to my mom's arms and started bawling. Now that I have Aubree I can imagine the pain my mom must feel losing a child. My heart would be broken if I lost Aubree. My dad took off work and my siblings got out of school early so we were able to have lunch together and visit the grave and have a word of prayer and let balloons float up to heaven.

Now that it is almost Christmas it seems that December has flown by for me. It has been fun getting ready for this holiday by putting up our first Christmas tree and getting stockings and making crafts. Aubree has brought so much of the holiday spirit out in me. I am so grateful for her.

I have put off posting this all month and tomorrow is christmas eve! I am so looking forward to celebrating with my family. I can't believe Aubree is going to be eight months in a few days! She is growing so fast and developing such a fun personality. She had discovered how to crawl and is now trying to pull up on things. She loves food and would eat all day if I let her. She brings so much joy and happiness in our lives and we are blessed to have her!

... and for you I am Thankful

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving and as I lay in bed thinking about the day I feel so much joy and love. Last night we traveled to Safford to get me a new car. I was able to visit with my family and get a beautiful new car that I love. Today we spent the afternoon with Bens family and friends. We had a wonderful time. I can't help but feel so lucky to be married to such a giving man. I know he would do anything for me as I would for him. I am so grateful for our marriage and the life we live together. I know heavenly father placed us in each other's paths so we could meet and be together. Ben makes me want to be the best I can be. I fall more in love with him everyday. He has been the best daddy to Aubree and I love watching their relationship grow. Aubree had been one of my biggest blessings. After my brother Dylan died I felt like I would go through these moments where I would relive his accident and the night he passed away, but as soon as I found out I was pregnant it was like I had something to focus on and I felt so much love. My mind never went back to that dark night and I honesty believe that Aubree was the lip  I needed. I have felt so much love since finding out I was pregnant and then her being born I didn't have time to be sad or dwell on Dylan death. I am so thankful for the Knowledge I have that family's can be together forever. Knowing that I can see Dylan again if I love worthy makes my heart hurt a little less. We had the opportunity to go to the mesa temple with some of Bens family the day after Thanksgiving. I haven't been through very many times but I love the feeling i get while I am there. I leave with my mind focused on what's most important and my priorities and goals changed. I want to be my best. While sitting through the session I thought about Dylan and thought he might be watching over me smiling and happy to see me in the temple. I felt closest to him there then I have in a long time. I had no worries and just felt peace.

My little sunshine is now seven months old... She is now crawling, she still loves playing with her toys and empty water bottles are still her favorite. She loves baby food and has been learning how to wave bye bye. She loves giving kisses and sometimes she even will say momma she dada. She is getting so fun and we love watching her grow. 

Can time slow down please!

This six month old sweetheart is growing so fast.. She now weighs 17lbs 13oz and is 27 inches long. I can't believe it has already been half a year, she makes life so much fun . We are finally settled into the apartment and attended church at our new ward. Aubree and I are learning to enjoy taking Stella out twice a day. She has been such a loving puppy to Aubree and for that I am grateful. Halloween just passed us and we got to enjoy making memories with our little girl. Ben carved out a pumpkin for Aubree to sit in so I could get a picture and then we got to dress our baby girl up as the doll Raggedy Ann. Everyone thought she was the cutest thing! She was such a happy girl, just like she is everyday. Thanksgiving is up next and I am looking forward to making memories for that as well as Christmas. Having Aubree in our life has made every holiday and birthday so much more fun. Time had passed so quickly and Aubree had made many milestones this month. We have given her baby food mixed in with the rice cereal,  apples and bananas. She loves both as well as trying to get everything off of mommy and daddys plates. She has mastered the art of sitting up by herself and enjoys playing with all her toys. Thankfully she has not started crawling, just like any other mommy I would love if she could just stay little. I am enjoying this time with her and learning about her sweet personality. She surprises me everyday, just yesterday I caught on camera her waving, and she has given those open mouth wet kisses to a few lucky people including her daddy and I.