Friday, January 22, 2016

November/December

November was filled with sleepy newborn snuggles and adjusting to being a mama of two. My mom stayed with us for a few days after Gracies delivery. It was so nice having her there so Ben could go back to work and my mom could help cook, clean and play with Aubree. I almost felt guilty she was there because I was doing so much better recovering from Gracies birth then I did with Aubrees. The adjustment from one child to two was pretty smooth for us. Aubree became pretty much a daddy's girl when he came home from work but during the day she is so helpful and sweet to her baby sis. I couldn't be more grateful. Thanksgiving came and we celebrated at Steve and Michelles. It was nice to celebrate our first holiday as a family of four close to home. It was a beautiful day. The first month of Gracies life was absolutely wonderful. She jumped up to 11lbs 9oz and 22 inches long. She started sleeping through the night and I couldn't believe it. December came so quickly and I decided to take the girls to Safford to be with my family for the 5 year anniversary of Dylans death. We got to watch Brooklyn dance in the live nativity at the temple. They slept the whole way there and the whole way back. They are such good little travelers. I love it. The rest of the month of December was filled with baking, crafts and lots of Christmas movies. We got to go watch our friend Careisses little boys ice skating performance. Aubree loved it and has pretended to ice skate in her socks on the tile ever since. It's the cutest thing. We took the girls to see Santa at Bass Pro thinking maybe Aubree wouldn't cry this year but she sure did. Maybe next year... We decorated gingerbread houses with Sarah, Austin and Ava and I'm pretty sure the adults enjoyed that more then the kids. Last but not least we went to look at the temple lights. Its one of my favorite traditions. Aubree talked about was seeing the baby Jesus the whole time we were there. It is so neat to watch her enjoy it each year. Christmas morning came and Aubree loved all her gifts from Santa and mom and dad. Then we went to Steve and Michelles to open presents. Aubree was spoiled rotten. She didn't know what to do with all her toys. I think she was most excited about her Frozen bike and helmet. Now if only she could figure out how to ride it! After all that we loaded up the car and drove to Safford to spend the weekend with my family. We had dinner at my Nanas house that evening and the next day had a Christmas party at my parents house for my mom's side of the family. It was fun visiting with everyone and enjoying time with my family. We came home for New Years and celebrated with Austin, Sarah and Ava. Overall it was a great end to the year. Gracie has been the perfect addition to our little family and I have loved watching Aubree become this big helper. She was truly meant to join our family first. My heart is so full. ♡

Tuesday, November 24, 2015

Our moments ♡♡♡

My favorite moments with you are our night time feedings. With just the glow of the tap light and you snuggled on my chest. All I hear is your little breathing. I love the way your legs bunch up and how you hold tight to my finger and your sweet little smiles. I smell your sweet newborn hair and kiss those soft cheeks. Just you and I awake. I tell you how much I love you and you stare into my eyes. I love those moments. During the day it is so hard to have a moment with you because your cute big sister is always right there wanting to help or needing help with something. Her loud, busy little self keeps me busy and preoccupied. It is so different from when she was a newborn. I would lay in bed all day with her, starring, talking, loving on her. You and I just get these quiet moments at night together and I cherish every one of them. I will be sad when you start to sleep through the night. The weeks are passing us by and I know it won't be long. I love you Gracie Mae and I can't imagine life without. ♡

Monday, November 23, 2015

Gracie Maes Birth Story 11•02•15

October came so quickly I was in no rush for my due date to be here. I was kept pretty busy the whole month. We had the hospital tour, which was great. I had my mom visit for the day and we went shopping and did hair. My dad came to visit the next week for a few days. He went to my doctors appointment with me, went shopping, and had a great visit. Ben and I took Aubree to Vertucio Farms one night with his family. We picked out some pumpkins and carved them. I also had Ben paint my belly like a pumpkin. Aubree thought that was pretty great. I also took her to another pumpkin patch during the day. We went to the State fair to watch Sheryl Crow and walk around. Keeping busy helped me not feel anxious for baby girls arrival. We still hadn't decided on a name and kind of kept putting it off. I was feeling pretty good physically. I started having some contractions the week of my due date. Mostly during the day, nothing consistent but enough to put everyone on edge thinking she was making her arrival at any moment. The 29th was my due date and when it came and I was only dilated to a 1-2 and 50% effaced. At that point I was ready for her to be here. I thought for sure she was going to be here before Halloween. She had different plans. Halloween came and we took Aubree trick or treating. She got a little flu bug and I was so nervous she was going to be sick when her sister was born but luckily it didn't last long. She had a blast trick or treating! She would say trick or treat and thank you. I loved watching her and seeing her face light up when she got a candy. The day after Halloween I started to feel discouraged and emotional. I really didn't want to be induced but scheduled it just in case on the day I turned 41 weeks. We stayed home from church and did a lot of walking and bouncing on the ball, we also tried out my new electric breast pump. It gave me two good contractions but then I turned it off because I got nervous. Around 3am I woke up with contractions and decided to count them since they were pretty uncomfortable. I timed them until around 7am and they were 3-5 mins apart and getting painful. Ben had gone to the gym around 5am and decided to come home after instead of going to work since I was pretty sure this was the real deal. I got up and got ready and got Aubree up and ready. Our bags were packed and we headed to the hospital. Once we got to triage I asked the nurse if she thought we were going to be sent home since I was still just a three and a half and 75% effaced. She said no since I was gbs positive. She got me into a room and started me on the first round on antibiotics and we waited. I was checked again and things hadn't changed much so they talked about sending me home. My nurse was so sweet.. She wanted me to stay and said she would do everything she could to help me stay and not get sent home. I was in so much pain and wanted to cry because I did not want to go home. I just wanted my baby in my arms. They decided to strip my membranes and send me walking around the hospital for two hours. I literally walked in a circle outside in the heat for two hours only stopping for contractions and to take a sip of water. I was bound and determined to not get sent home. My family arrived while I was walking. I probably looked like a crazy lady in a huge hospital gown walking in circles. When we went back in to get checked I had progressed to a 5 and was 100% effaced. They decided to let me stay and gave me a shot of something in my leg for the pain while I waited for the epidural. I rested and my dad got me chic fil a. The contractions were so painful. I finally got the epidural when I was at like a 7. It was only working on one half of my body but they were so good about fixing it. I had the shakes really bad this time which was different then when I had Aubree where I only got them after delivery. An hour later I felt the urge to push so I called for the nurse. Tiffany my midwife came in to check me and said she could see my babies head and hair. She asked if Ben wanted to catch her and he agreed. He put gloves on and I held my legs back. Three pushes later Ben caught the baby. She had pooped while inside of me so I guess when she came out Ben said it kind of smelt and the fluid from my bag of water came gushing out. You can see on his face in the pictures he was not expecting that. But I loved that he got to place her immediately on my chest and then also got to cut the cord. She weighed 8lbs 2oz and was 20 inches long born at 6:53pm. We decided to name her Gracie Mae Mulcock. She is absolutely perfect in everyway. My delivery went so perfect. It felt so good to push her out and made up for all those hard hours of contractions. She is an excellent at nursing and is adored by her big sister Aubree. We had Aubree come in the room and give her sister the little gift she picked out for her while we also gave Aubree a little gift. She loved it. She has been big on doctor stuff so we got her a doctor bag and she had a blast pretending to listen to the babies heartbeat and giving her a checkup. I think going to all of my doctor appointments really helped prepare her for her new role as a big sister. She loves Gracie's and asks every morning "Mom can I see my sister please?" She loves to help change her diaper, give her a bath, get her dressed, swaddle her, and we haven't let her feed her yet but I'm sure she will love when I do pump a bottle for her. It has me so happy to see them together and know that they are going to be best friends and grow up and play together. Gracie is such a happy baby and is a good sleeper. My recovery with Gracie has been 100 times easier then with Aubree. I had such a hard time after delivering Aubree, I think the combination of it being my first baby and getting stitches made it a lot harder. This time I was dressed and up and feeling great the day after delivery. Its been three weeks now and I literally don't feel like I had a baby. The bleeding is already almost gone and I feel amazing. I am so grateful to have such easy pregnancies, deliveries, and recovery. Life as a family of four has been so wonderful and I look forward to all the memories we will make together.

Friday, September 25, 2015

A letter to my Aubree Jane

My dearest daughter,
I want you to know that I love you with all my heart. You have taught me what unconditional love feels like. You are the one who burst my heart wide open. You changed my life forever. You made me a momma. Even though you won't be my only child, or even my only girl, you will always be my first. 💗

Wednesday, September 16, 2015

09•16•15

This pictures perfectly describes our day. Lots of giggles and loves. She had just finished telling me "best friends forever mama" when I told Ben to take a picture so I could remember this moment forever. For the last few nights I haven't been able to sleep because I keep thinking about how life will never be the same once we are a family of four. Aubree has been the center of our world for two and a half years. It has been my greatest joy watching her learn and grow. Part of me is sad it won't just be the three of us anymore but more of me is excited to add another sweetheart to our bunch.

Monday, September 14, 2015

Feelings

Feeling this overwhelming love for my little family of three tonight. Today Aubree and I spent all day in our jammies and had multiple cuddle sessions. She was so sweet and loving and helpful. No fits, no tantrums. She told me multiple times out of the blue, I love you momma. So basically my heart has been melting all day. Before Ben can come from work I got down an old bag in Aubrees room with little headbands and hats and diapers and white onesies from when she was a newborn. We sat on my bed and she put on the diaper and onesie and hat on her baby doll. I swaddled her and she held her and kept telling me out cute and little she was. Her movements while holding the baby doll were so sweet and slow and soft. I know she is going to be the best big sister ever. I can't wait to see her reaction to her new baby sister. I am so happy they will get to grow up together and be the best of friends. It scares me and makes me nervous to think we will be a family of four in a few short weeks but at the same time I have never felt more excited. The love I have for Ben and Aubree is beyond measure. I can't wait for that love to expand to include another little sweet girl. Ben is the best dad to Aubree and treats us both like princesses. I have no doubts her will adore our new little addition. I am so grateful he is my partner and we get to create this family together. He is everything to me and I feel so blessed to be able to stay home and watch our daughters grow and teach them and love them. Our life may not ever be perfect but it is beyond beautiful. ❤