- Eight Months - Christmas - New Years -

I haven’t been very good at updating this on time but I just want to go back just in case I missed anything. Aubree turned eight months in December. We celebrated Christmas at our house in the morning by waking Aubree up early and taking her into the living room to see her gifts from Santa and open her stocking. She was so sweet and such a cuddle bug when we woke her up and then seeing her face light up when she saw her bouncer was priceless. Then we let her open her stocking and she was so happy. It was the cutest thing! After getting ready for the morning we went to Ben’s parents to open presents there and then spent Christmas afternoon at his grandma’s house. Later we left for Safford to spend Christmas evening with my family. The next day we traveled to Holbrook to spend a few days with my grandma and aunts and uncles and cousins. We got lots of gifts and felt very blessed to be able to spend a little time with everyone this Christmas. We spent the new year at the sand dunes with Ben’s parents, brother, and some friends. It was a blast taking Aubree for the first time. Ben taught me how to ride a quad and took Aubree on a little ride around the toy hauler. I couldn’t tell who was having the most fun because they were both smiling from ear to ear. Our sweet baby girl is eight months and we just can’t believe how much she has grown this month. She has gone from sitting up like a champ to learning to crawl backwards for a few days to finally learning how to crawl forward. She now gets around faster then I’d like and keeps me on my toes. I can’t believe she is already learning how to pull up on everything and can stand up with help. Her personality has blossomed over the past month and I love learning more about her. She makes me laugh and loves to laugh with us, she gives the best kisses and can wave bye bye. I love hearing her say mama and adada. Her face lights up when we call Ben while he is at work. She loves playing with Stella and Stella loves giving her kisses. Food has become her main interest recently. She has begun eating off of our plates and still continues to breastfeed and eat baby good. Puffs are her new favorite snack, and she loves bananas in the morning. I fall more in love with her every day. I cannot believe she will be a year old in a few short months. This year has gone by faster than any year in my entire life. Aubree has made me the person I am today and I am so blessed to be her mommy. I am so grateful for my amazing husband and his willingness to provide for us. He is my very best friend. I love this life heavenly

Oh bittersweet December

December is always a bittersweet month for me. As yesterday was November 30th our sweet Aubree turned 7 months old and I tried to think about how she is such a happy healthy baby girl and how much I love and am thankful for her but in the back of my mind all day I thought about December. I thought about today and how much joy the holidays are suppose to bring. I put up our Christmas tree last night and Ben played some Christmas music this morning. Every year I try to get in the holiday spirit but at the beginning it is always hard for me. I can't help but think of the anniversary of Dylans death. I say this every year but I can't believe this year will be three years. It no longer feels like just yesterday for me. It feels like a lifetime ago but I can still remember every detail of that night. It plays like a movie over in my head. I still can't believe that happen to me and my family. I still can't believe my brother died in an accident almost three years ago. The pain in my heart has changed over the years but it is still there. I wish I could just visit with Dylan and watch him interact with Ben and Aubree.
I was able to go to Safford to be with my family on the anniversary of Dylans death. It was so nice being with them to remember our brother. As soon as I got into town I just started to cry and as soon as I pulled up to my house I ran to my mom's arms and started bawling. Now that I have Aubree I can imagine the pain my mom must feel losing a child. My heart would be broken if I lost Aubree. My dad took off work and my siblings got out of school early so we were able to have lunch together and visit the grave and have a word of prayer and let balloons float up to heaven.

Now that it is almost Christmas it seems that December has flown by for me. It has been fun getting ready for this holiday by putting up our first Christmas tree and getting stockings and making crafts. Aubree has brought so much of the holiday spirit out in me. I am so grateful for her.

I have put off posting this all month and tomorrow is christmas eve! I am so looking forward to celebrating with my family. I can't believe Aubree is going to be eight months in a few days! She is growing so fast and developing such a fun personality. She had discovered how to crawl and is now trying to pull up on things. She loves food and would eat all day if I let her. She brings so much joy and happiness in our lives and we are blessed to have her!

... and for you I am Thankful

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving and as I lay in bed thinking about the day I feel so much joy and love. Last night we traveled to Safford to get me a new car. I was able to visit with my family and get a beautiful new car that I love. Today we spent the afternoon with Bens family and friends. We had a wonderful time. I can't help but feel so lucky to be married to such a giving man. I know he would do anything for me as I would for him. I am so grateful for our marriage and the life we live together. I know heavenly father placed us in each other's paths so we could meet and be together. Ben makes me want to be the best I can be. I fall more in love with him everyday. He has been the best daddy to Aubree and I love watching their relationship grow. Aubree had been one of my biggest blessings. After my brother Dylan died I felt like I would go through these moments where I would relive his accident and the night he passed away, but as soon as I found out I was pregnant it was like I had something to focus on and I felt so much love. My mind never went back to that dark night and I honesty believe that Aubree was the lip  I needed. I have felt so much love since finding out I was pregnant and then her being born I didn't have time to be sad or dwell on Dylan death. I am so thankful for the Knowledge I have that family's can be together forever. Knowing that I can see Dylan again if I love worthy makes my heart hurt a little less. We had the opportunity to go to the mesa temple with some of Bens family the day after Thanksgiving. I haven't been through very many times but I love the feeling i get while I am there. I leave with my mind focused on what's most important and my priorities and goals changed. I want to be my best. While sitting through the session I thought about Dylan and thought he might be watching over me smiling and happy to see me in the temple. I felt closest to him there then I have in a long time. I had no worries and just felt peace.

My little sunshine is now seven months old... She is now crawling, she still loves playing with her toys and empty water bottles are still her favorite. She loves baby food and has been learning how to wave bye bye. She loves giving kisses and sometimes she even will say momma she dada. She is getting so fun and we love watching her grow. 

Can time slow down please!

This six month old sweetheart is growing so fast.. She now weighs 17lbs 13oz and is 27 inches long. I can't believe it has already been half a year, she makes life so much fun . We are finally settled into the apartment and attended church at our new ward. Aubree and I are learning to enjoy taking Stella out twice a day. She has been such a loving puppy to Aubree and for that I am grateful. Halloween just passed us and we got to enjoy making memories with our little girl. Ben carved out a pumpkin for Aubree to sit in so I could get a picture and then we got to dress our baby girl up as the doll Raggedy Ann. Everyone thought she was the cutest thing! She was such a happy girl, just like she is everyday. Thanksgiving is up next and I am looking forward to making memories for that as well as Christmas. Having Aubree in our life has made every holiday and birthday so much more fun. Time had passed so quickly and Aubree had made many milestones this month. We have given her baby food mixed in with the rice cereal,  apples and bananas. She loves both as well as trying to get everything off of mommy and daddys plates. She has mastered the art of sitting up by herself and enjoys playing with all her toys. Thankfully she has not started crawling, just like any other mommy I would love if she could just stay little. I am enjoying this time with her and learning about her sweet personality. She surprises me everyday, just yesterday I caught on camera her waving, and she has given those open mouth wet kisses to a few lucky people including her daddy and I.

F I V E months

Our growing girl is five months old and changing daily. We have been so busy this month and are so excited for our new adventure. We just moved from the lovely house we were renting into a two bedroom apartment a few miles away. The owners of the house we are renting decided to sell their house so in the meantime we got pre qualified to buy a house but needed to save up for a down payment and pay off some debt. We decided to downsize in order to save money and in 10 short months buy a house. It has been a bittersweet move going from a spacious house into an apartment. I didn't realize how much stuff we collected since Aubree had been born. Our sweet pea has her own room and we get to decorate if just like it was.
Little Miss Jane has been full of new tricks recently. She can now roll from her tummy to her back and loves to sit up by herself. She can hold and grab on to anything and everything in reaching distance, and loves to put it in her mouth. Her little high pitched screams cracking us up as well as her baby babble. Food has recently become of interest to her and she loves to reach for it and try to taste it. She has nawed on lettuce leaves and celery sticks and loved it. I can't wait to give her baby food. Nursing is still a favorite for both of us, I feel like we bond after each feeding while she looks into my eyes, grabs my face, plays with my hair, or snuggles into my shoulder. I love learning more about her personality and wish I could understand what she was thinking. I feel so blessed to have her be apart of my life. She is the best part of me and I feel so loved by her.

My little love 💗

I love watching my little love fall asleep on the video monitor. The way she plays with her blanket, sucks her toes, rubs her eyes and falls asleep is so precious to me. She is so beautiful and peaceful I could seriously stare at her all night. My baby has grown so much in these last four months I can't believe she is going to be five months in a few days. Life with her has been sheer bliss. I thought I was in love when she was in my belly but over the last few months I feel as though we have gotten to know each other in a way I can't explain. Almost as if our spirits remember and know each other. She is my best friend and playmate during the day. We love to snuggle in bed in the mornings and read books in the afternoon. We love showers and looking in the mirror. I honestly get bored while she is taking her afternoon nap. It takes all my might not to wake her up early some days. Aubree has given me a whole new outlook on life. I love my parents and I always knew they loved me but I now I can truly understand how much and it can't be explained. Life will give us storms and we will have to sail through them but our children will be our biggest supporters and we will be theirs. Ben is such a good daddy and I look forward to watching his relationship grow and develop with Aubree. 

f o u r months with my little l o v e

Aubree Jane is now four months old! She weighs 15lbs 14oz and has now started eating rice cereal and loves it! She is getting so big and smart, it amazes me everyday the little things she does. Rolling over is one thing I have yet to see her do. I did put her on her belly only to look away for a split second and look back to see her on her back. I swear she rolled over without making a sound. We practice rolling over everyday. We are officially moved her to her big girl crib in her own room, so she no longer sleeps in our bedroom. It was such a bittersweet transition. That first night I had so much anxiety and barley slept. Thankfully she is just the next bedroom down and we have a video monitor so I can watch her all night if I wanted to. Morning is still our favorite time of the day although she is a pretty happy baby all day. Going into her bedroom and telling her good morning is my favorite. She gives the biggest smiles and giggles that melt my heart. Aubree loves the afternoon when her daddy comes home from work. As soon as she sees him she is all smiles. She also loves her Stella Marie and will watch her all day. I must say Stella is pretty fond of Aubree as well, she is very protective and gentle. We are very lucky. Grabbing at everything in sight and putting it in her mouth has become one of her favorite things to do. We love to read books and she tries to grab them to chew on the corners. We also got her ears pierced and she was such a champ. I held her while she got them pierced and then handed her off to daddy to be comforted. After a few moments the tears were gone and she was her happy self again. I love her little diamond earrings and am so proud of her. She is still a pro at nursing and I have decided to continue to breastfeed. We are four months going strong exclusively breastfeeding. I have become more comfortable breastfeeding in public. This has been a struggle for me from day one. There are so many people with negative comments about nursing in public but overtime I have become more confident and feel like I could inspire other moms to also be comfortable. I love the bond Aubree and I have formed through breastfeeding.

I breastfeed

Not because I think I am better

Not because I think less of formula feeding moms

Not because I want attention

Not because I want to show my breasts to others

I breastfeed

Because I couldn't imagine it any other way

Because my child wants to be nourished from me

Because this is what nature intended

Because this was the right choice for my family

Breastfeeding gives us a chance to claim an aspect of our power as women. I have learned so much over the last four moths and am loving it. I have learned that motherhood is unselfishness. The moment I became a mother it was all about her. My heart as grown and given love a whole new meaning.I never knew how much love I could feel for two people. Ben and Aubree are my best friends. I love the life we live and feel so blessed to be loved my them.