February 2015 - The month that changed everything.

February has by far been the most eventful month of this year so far. The morning of the 5th I got a phone call from my father in law Steve letting me know that Ben fell off of a roof. He was so calm as he told me to get myself ready and then head down to the hospital. Shortly after that phone call I got a call from my sister in law Sarah offering to come pick Aubree up so I could head to the hospital. I have no idea how I was so calm, I got Aubree dressed and ready and myself without any tears or freaking out. Sarah came to pick up Aubree and I headed to Chandler Regional Medical Center. The 40 minuet drive left me with a lot of time to think. I remember praying to my heavenly father to not take away the love of my life, that I couldn't live without him. At this point I had no idea what kind of injuries Ben suffered, all Steve told me he knew was that he defiantly had a broken leg. All I could think about was him having internal bleeding and leaving me here to raise Aubree alone. It was all hitting way too close to home, and giving me flashbacks to when Dylan died. When I arrived to the hospital Ben's parents were there and we weren't allowed back to see him yet. He was in the trauma area getting tests done and we weren't allowed to see him. Everyone was so calm, so that kept me calm. When I got to go back and see him, he was laying down and looked like he was in a lot of pain. I wanted to cry so bad, but I just couldn't. I couldn't talk or cry or anything, I just stood there holding his hand. I didn't want to leave his sight. I stayed with him up until he went into surgery that night around 6:30. My mom came down from Safford by then to take care of Aubree for me. I was so happy she was there. As we got into the elevator to leave I started to feel dizzy and light headed, I don't remember eating at all that day. It all went by so fast, I started to cry and the tears just didn't stop. I was so embarrassed crying in front of everyone. I had held it in for so long, it all just came bursting out. We left the hospital and picked up Aubree from Sarah's. I took my mom and Aubree to my house and got them settled and gathered some clothes for myself and then headed back to the hospital. Ben was still in surgery when I got back. He didn't get out until around 10pm. They did a radial head replacement in his elbow, and put two plates in his leg where he broke his tibia and fibula. He was very tired when he got out of surgery and we just went to bed. I woke up with him multiple times throughout the night to help him go to the bathroom. He was in the hospital for a week, and I stayed by his side until my mom had to go back to Safford. He was then transferred to a acute rehabilitation center for less then 24 hours before he came home. It was an adjustment having him home but he is now more independent. He got a knee scooter, and can shower himself. I love waking up next to him and bringing Aubree into our room when she wakes up to see her daddy. I feel so blessed to have him in my life. I know he could have died that day if it was his time, but he is still here with us and I thank my heavenly father daily for that. Aubree loves having her daddy home. The first thing she says in the morning is dada. Shortly after Ben got home Aubree got the stomach flu for the first time. It was absolutely terrible. She had it for 3 days and then she had the runs for the next few days. It was so gross. I could deal with the throw up, but the poop was horrible. I felt so bad for her, I literally just held her for those days and she just slept off and on all day. The last day of her poop, I started to cry when I had to change her, I have no idea why, I was tired and changing another one of those diapers just seemed like the end of the world. I took her upstairs and changed her and put her in the bath and just cried and cried. I was suppose to start my period that day but after crying I thought I would take a pregnancy test. I was telling myself it was going to say not pregnant, so the moment it said pregnant I freaked out. The day before Ben's accident we tried but didn't think anything of it. I thought I would take months to get pregnant. I told Ben to come here, and then I showed him the test. We were both in shock and laughed and cried. I told him we had to go get more test right that second. So we went to Walgreens and got two more tests. Those both said positive. It explained why I was so exhausted, which I thought was just due to tending to Ben and Aubree all week. And why I was so emotional while just changing a diaper. I also remembered my tooth paste tasting like kitchen cleaner. Everything was making sense and we just couldn't believe it. I still can't believe it. This month has been full of surprises and most defiantly will go in the books as the most eventful, life changing month of our lives. Ben is doing good, and Aubree is going to be the best big sister. I am so thankful for my beautiful life and my wonderful friends and family. We have been blessed with the best ward, that has been so helpful and the best family that has been there for us through it all. Ben and I celebrated our third anniversary together a few days ago and I couldn't be happier with the last three years we have had together. I look forward to the many more we will spend together.